97Jan30 12:01 am from Myrrh
  
  Tired of not knowing what each day will bring?  Scared to get out of bed?  
Puzzled over quantum physics?  Laden with bushels of money and no half-assed 
projects to throw it at?  Let the Psychic Friends Network help out! 
 
  GINA:  Ah din't baleeve it at firs', buh she tole me thangs dat no  
         one ewse coulda known abou' me.  I's convinced. 
 
  LATONDA:  I was to calling deese network, yah? and de lady tole me 
         "You are a wery trouble womans, yah?  You are sinking about 
         money, yah?"  And den she tole me not to worry, dat de money 
         be coming in any day now, yah?  She dinna have to tell me any 
         more, I was conwinced! 
 
  See for yourself!  Accessible now directly through the Interzone, 
Minneapolis' hottest BBS, you too can experience the miracle of direct 
intervention on the universe's behalf, through the Psychic Friends Network.  
See for yourself! 
 
  TONY:  Ah gots dis girlfriend, 'ight, an' me an' her... we don' 
         zacktly get along, know-what-Ah'm-sayin', homeslice?  She, 
         like, smack me upside da haid wit a fryin' pan, and Ah'm 
         bustin' ta go crazy on her ass... so Ah called da Psychotic 
         Fiends Network, and da girl, she tole me to ease up, step off 
         and hole up... we's gonna hook up tomorrah aftanoon, slip on 
         back to th' crib, ya-know-what-Ah'm-sayin,' G?  Aw, yeah. 
 
  DAVID:  See, I been real hungry the past couple of weeks, and I  
         talked to the girl on the Psychic Friends Network... she jus' 
         tole me to get something to eat.  An' I tried it, and it 
         worked.  I started eatin' and everything... you know I'm  
         gonna be calling her again and again soon's I get home. 
 
  The Psychic Friends Network can help you, too!  Just call up the Interzone 
like you would normally, type .goto PsyFriNet, and pick up the receiver.  It's 
that simple!  How much is peace of mind about the future worth to you?  
Troubled over a relationship?  Concerned about financial issues?  Even if 
you're simply lonely and need to hear someone else's voice, just call us up 
and let the Psychic Friends Network work it's magic for you, too! 
 
  (See what the Psychic Friends Network can do for you!  Call up the 
Interzone, jump to the room Sally Struthers spoke about, and converse with a 
real, live psychic, honest Injun!  Only $zillion-kerjillion per minute.  Call 
now!)