"Dear attractive woman number 2,
Only once in my life have I responded to a person the way I've responded to you, but I've forgotten when it was or even if it was in fact me that responded. I may not know much, but I know that the wind sings your name endlessly, although with a sligh lisp that makes it difficult to understand if I'm standing near an air conditioner. I know that your hair sits atop your head as though it could sit nowhere else. I know that your figure would make a sculptor cast aside his tools, injuring his assistant who was looking out the window instead of paying attention. I know that your lips are as full as that sexy french model's that I desperately want to fuck. I know that if for an instant I could have you lie next to me, or on top of me, or sit on me, or stand over me and shake then I would be the happiest man in my pants. I know all of this and yet you do not know me. Change your life. Accept my love. Or at least let me pay you to accept it."
-Dr. Jeffrey Korchak from Steven Soderbergh's "Schizopolis"